I was so sad to hear the other day that Owen Wilson called 911 (or someone did) on a sucide attempt. I guess now he is out of the hospital and is doing well, but I was truly sad to hear that he hit the bottom of the pit, that he saw no way of getting out of. He brings so much happiness into lives that he will never know. And the fact that he wanted to end that, I can't believe the pressure he is under being a movie star. He is so funny and charasmatic, something that is hard to find in a true star now a days. And I for one was so glad to read that the movie he is working on with Jack Black and Ben Stiller will still go on. I didn't think that Ben Stiller would ever recast him, unless he asked him to.
So, I know that Owen Wilson will never read this but, my heart goes out to him and I'm praying for him and his family for recovery, peace and ability to go on from this stronger. I for one will always go to the movie if he is in it, so I hope that he keeps doing what he does best! And keep up the good work, you always have a fan in me!
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Friday, August 17, 2007
Just another page in my crazy life!!
So far in this life I have been thru what I consider a great deal of CRAP....from my parents, from school, from my parents, from different friends I have had over the years, from my parents, from nature, did I mention my parents??
Well it all came to a head yesterday....and I'm DONE! I'm tired of being the parent and the responsible one, the mature one, the voice of reason. I can't do it anymore...I have my own kids to teach right from wrong. Because of this at 9 I lost my childhood, the right to be a kid and carefree. I can't do it for my mom anymore. I joke that I am in my own personal war with Iraq, (no offense to the good people of Iraq) but it's true. I'm concerned for her and love her very much (I have this understanding that there is an unconditional love with a mother and child and child and parent) but I just can't fight with her anymore. I can't go along with what she says as being truth and what reality is. I work VERY hard every day to not be a nutcase because of my childhood, teenage years and just the day to day life of a mother of 2 toddlers. Unlike my mother I have decided to not let my past control who I am right now. I understand that I can get up every morning and know it's a new day, a gift of a clean slate if you will, and do it again the same or different. And not let yesterday control what will happen today. Now with this being said I don't forget the lessons I learned from the mistakes or sucesses that I have had. That's the problem with humans and why history repeats itself. I still make mistakes sometimes the same ones but I don't blame anyone but ME.
And I hope that I have never let anyone feel that I wasn't totaly appreciative for anything anyone has ever done for me and because of that and those people I have felt blessed and loved and couldn't want anything more. To make a statement that one has been appreciative of what others have done for them BUT in the same breath say they have never gotten what they wanted is the ramblings of a ungrateful spoiled little brat! Yes, harsh words. But would you believe that they came from a 50+ year old!! I have to use this and take it to make sense to me....it would be like me telling Brent thank you for buying something for me from Tiffany's but it's not what I wanted.....What the HECK!!! I would sound like a brat! and people would want to hit me in the head!! Well that's where I am right now.
The outcome of this is that I was hung up on and she isn't coming to see me anymore. Now I know that more than likely isn't happening but that's the emotional lashings I have been given since I was 9. But you know this time I just may let her be and not call her and want her to know that I really want her in my life. And my boys. But the fact that a mother wanted to walk away from me is her choice and frankly I'm tired and can't fight the war anymore so I choose to take my army and go home. If she wants to continue to destroy herself and life there is nothing I can do or say to make her stop. She has the choice just like I do. This is all very hard for me to wrap my head around and I've come to the realization that I don't want to or need to. I just need to be the best mother, wife, daughter, friend, and christian that I can be but only with the help of the man upstairs. I guess He is the only parent I have that has been there all the time no matter what. Kinda nice huh, knowing that I have always had someone that has been there even when my own weren't or couldn't be. I also have an entire aresnal of 'parents' that will always be there for me and have always been there. It just hurts that I don't have the one who was given the job.
Ok, I have to stop for now. Thanks for reading.
Well it all came to a head yesterday....and I'm DONE! I'm tired of being the parent and the responsible one, the mature one, the voice of reason. I can't do it anymore...I have my own kids to teach right from wrong. Because of this at 9 I lost my childhood, the right to be a kid and carefree. I can't do it for my mom anymore. I joke that I am in my own personal war with Iraq, (no offense to the good people of Iraq) but it's true. I'm concerned for her and love her very much (I have this understanding that there is an unconditional love with a mother and child and child and parent) but I just can't fight with her anymore. I can't go along with what she says as being truth and what reality is. I work VERY hard every day to not be a nutcase because of my childhood, teenage years and just the day to day life of a mother of 2 toddlers. Unlike my mother I have decided to not let my past control who I am right now. I understand that I can get up every morning and know it's a new day, a gift of a clean slate if you will, and do it again the same or different. And not let yesterday control what will happen today. Now with this being said I don't forget the lessons I learned from the mistakes or sucesses that I have had. That's the problem with humans and why history repeats itself. I still make mistakes sometimes the same ones but I don't blame anyone but ME.
And I hope that I have never let anyone feel that I wasn't totaly appreciative for anything anyone has ever done for me and because of that and those people I have felt blessed and loved and couldn't want anything more. To make a statement that one has been appreciative of what others have done for them BUT in the same breath say they have never gotten what they wanted is the ramblings of a ungrateful spoiled little brat! Yes, harsh words. But would you believe that they came from a 50+ year old!! I have to use this and take it to make sense to me....it would be like me telling Brent thank you for buying something for me from Tiffany's but it's not what I wanted.....What the HECK!!! I would sound like a brat! and people would want to hit me in the head!! Well that's where I am right now.
The outcome of this is that I was hung up on and she isn't coming to see me anymore. Now I know that more than likely isn't happening but that's the emotional lashings I have been given since I was 9. But you know this time I just may let her be and not call her and want her to know that I really want her in my life. And my boys. But the fact that a mother wanted to walk away from me is her choice and frankly I'm tired and can't fight the war anymore so I choose to take my army and go home. If she wants to continue to destroy herself and life there is nothing I can do or say to make her stop. She has the choice just like I do. This is all very hard for me to wrap my head around and I've come to the realization that I don't want to or need to. I just need to be the best mother, wife, daughter, friend, and christian that I can be but only with the help of the man upstairs. I guess He is the only parent I have that has been there all the time no matter what. Kinda nice huh, knowing that I have always had someone that has been there even when my own weren't or couldn't be. I also have an entire aresnal of 'parents' that will always be there for me and have always been there. It just hurts that I don't have the one who was given the job.
Ok, I have to stop for now. Thanks for reading.
Friday, July 27, 2007
Elmo!
Well, after stressing about what to do for Michael's birthday party he revealed a favorite!! ELMO!! He adores him! Everytime he sees Elmo he lights up and gets happy! So a natural choice. It will be lots of fun too! I did a little research and discovered that Elmo loves Pizza and bananas soooo there's the food!! I think I'll let the kids make a pizza and we'll have bananas with peanut butter and chocolate with banana shakes to drink....and of course Cake!! Trying to find some Elmo games more than likely I'll get the help of other Sesame Street characters for that. Like a paper clip game for the older kids...thanks Bert!
And it wouldn't be an Elmo party with out Dorothy!! So We'll have to adopt a goldfish. Don't think Brent would mind too much And lots of crayons!! I'm already excited about it!! And it's not until December!! but anyways! if any one has any ideas about Elmo parties let me know!!
And it wouldn't be an Elmo party with out Dorothy!! So We'll have to adopt a goldfish. Don't think Brent would mind too much And lots of crayons!! I'm already excited about it!! And it's not until December!! but anyways! if any one has any ideas about Elmo parties let me know!!
Saturday, July 21, 2007
Magical Me!
Well, I'm fighting the urge to wrestle Brent for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows book that we are sharing!! I'm really using my kindergarden skills and sharing really nice!! He is like 3 chapters ahead of me only because he stole it from me this morning!! And he's hogging the TV!! I think I'll have to put in the 1st movie and watch it while he reads the latest intallment. I did at one point remind him that I stayed up till 1:30am to get the book that he is reading!!! But so far what I have read it's GREAT!! and holy cow!! She didn't waste a single letter messing about! It's a ride from the beginning! But I just wanted to vent about having to share the Harry Potter book!! nox
Monday, June 25, 2007
6 Months till Christmas!
Well I just noticed that we have 6 months till Christmas today!! And it's all going by so fast! I started shopping earlier this year....I know I'm wierd. But living over seas I learned that if you see it just get it because it may not be there the next time!! But it also spreads out the cost as well. Spending $10 here and $20 there instead of $1000 all at once.... And with Christmas coming it also brings Michael's 2nd birthday!! Then mine and Philip's 4th birthday!! I can't belive it!!
I'm still stuck on what to do for Michael's birthday party. He really doesn't have a favorite character, other than Lola of Charlie and Lola. And they really don't have party things for them. He does like Mickey Mouse and Little Einsteins. I could do a Baby Einstein party like we did with Philip's 2nd but would that be fair? Do you think he would care or should I do something different all together?? Philip is having a pirate party, and we are going to take 8 kids to the new Veggie Tales movie the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything and after we will have cake and a treasure hunt for the 'loot' bags. It's horrible I have Philip's party all planned and I don't have a clue what to do for Michael's. Well...I'll figure it all out. I do have 5 months to figure it all out....
I'm still stuck on what to do for Michael's birthday party. He really doesn't have a favorite character, other than Lola of Charlie and Lola. And they really don't have party things for them. He does like Mickey Mouse and Little Einsteins. I could do a Baby Einstein party like we did with Philip's 2nd but would that be fair? Do you think he would care or should I do something different all together?? Philip is having a pirate party, and we are going to take 8 kids to the new Veggie Tales movie the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything and after we will have cake and a treasure hunt for the 'loot' bags. It's horrible I have Philip's party all planned and I don't have a clue what to do for Michael's. Well...I'll figure it all out. I do have 5 months to figure it all out....
Friday, June 22, 2007
Wicked
I FINALLY finished reading Wicked!! Around the 7th or so!! It was a great read and I enjoyed it a lot!! I have 'Son of a Witch' the sequel to Wicked. Will start reading that more than likely after I get thru 'The Devil Wears Prada' only been reading that one off and on since we moved. Brent and Philip bought it for me at Heathrow Airport in London....so I have a lot of reading to do but it's good.
Summer tends to be a good reading time! Hopefully I can get it all in!! Happy Reading!
Summer tends to be a good reading time! Hopefully I can get it all in!! Happy Reading!
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Children & War
So I got an email from a friend the other day...one of the many forwards everyone sends!! But this one really go to me! I have deleted it because it upset me so much but I'll give you an overview of what it said. Basicly it was a mothers account of her husband explaining to thier 9 year old son, NINE year old SON....why we are at war. It was very graphic describing his neighbor dragging his wife outside and killing her infront of the neighborhood- the man is Saddam, the wife is Iraq, the neighborhood is the world. Then asked his son what he would do if he saw that, the CHILD said that he would call the police, so the police is the UN and they 'Don't care' Then the man goes around and kills others and the little boy is overwhelmed and decides to close the blinds so he can't see. But the his dad says open them because he's at our door and wants to kill your mom, sibilings....and that innocent CHILD gets so much rage that he starts to cry and shake and yell at his father that he's 'gonna kill him! he hates him, he'll protect his family'
Now.....I may not make any friends by this posting but I don't care! We all have our different opinions.
First of all....WHAT was that Mother doing letting her husband give thier CHILD nightmares like that!! I would have STOPPED that description dead in it's tracks!! People don't realize how quickly children lose thier innocence these days! They (kids) want to grow up so fast and these Parents have just done that for thier baby!! YES, we are at war and our children have to live in these times. I don't know what I would say to my (almost) 3 year old if he asked me why we are at war. I would have to discuss it with my husband first. Something I don't think this family did. But the best thing for us to say would be 'the only way the bad people win is for good men to do nothing!' How could a NINE year old grasp the concept of a man killing his wife infront of him!! We are a blessed people that live in the greatest country in the world and don't have to see such things in our front yards!! I know there are places that this happens but we aren't there!! Why would we expose our CHILDREN to things like this!!? Yes they will be curious at some point but to push a CHILD so far to the point that it fills him with RAGE and HATE is terrible!! We should teach our children LOVE, Patience, Charity, PEACE! There is a whole world out there that will try to undo the good that the family instills in a child why would a parent do that!! How confusing for the little boy. Hopefully someday we will all be at peace and we won't have to tell our children that we are at war and babies will not have to lose thier mommies and daddies who defend and protect our country, but for now let the children be children. Innocence is something that is almost a lost concept to us, why not hold on to it for as long as we can!
Ok, I'm done.
Now.....I may not make any friends by this posting but I don't care! We all have our different opinions.
First of all....WHAT was that Mother doing letting her husband give thier CHILD nightmares like that!! I would have STOPPED that description dead in it's tracks!! People don't realize how quickly children lose thier innocence these days! They (kids) want to grow up so fast and these Parents have just done that for thier baby!! YES, we are at war and our children have to live in these times. I don't know what I would say to my (almost) 3 year old if he asked me why we are at war. I would have to discuss it with my husband first. Something I don't think this family did. But the best thing for us to say would be 'the only way the bad people win is for good men to do nothing!' How could a NINE year old grasp the concept of a man killing his wife infront of him!! We are a blessed people that live in the greatest country in the world and don't have to see such things in our front yards!! I know there are places that this happens but we aren't there!! Why would we expose our CHILDREN to things like this!!? Yes they will be curious at some point but to push a CHILD so far to the point that it fills him with RAGE and HATE is terrible!! We should teach our children LOVE, Patience, Charity, PEACE! There is a whole world out there that will try to undo the good that the family instills in a child why would a parent do that!! How confusing for the little boy. Hopefully someday we will all be at peace and we won't have to tell our children that we are at war and babies will not have to lose thier mommies and daddies who defend and protect our country, but for now let the children be children. Innocence is something that is almost a lost concept to us, why not hold on to it for as long as we can!
Ok, I'm done.
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