A long time coming....

As some of you noticed....the 'egg' went away. And yes that only means one thing...we lost the baby on 24 Jan. (we were 9 weeks) It was horrible and VERY painful and really hope no one will have to ever go thru that EVER! It not only is physically painful but it's emotionally horrific. I'll spare the gorry details but it was like being in a nightmare, we wound up in the ER due to the fact I saw my "10" on a pain scale. Thank God for narcotics!

The only thing that got me thru was God's love thru others. I know that sounds really hokey but it's the straight truth. We were so blessed by others since it began and even in the end we still could see the blessings even though they were some times overwhelming. I sometimes felt really hurt knowing that God gives and takes away. I wished he wouldn't have taken so he wouldn't have to give, but it's His plan not mine. I am truly grateful for the prayers and all of the love thru ice cream & magic shell, drinks! :0), flowers, cards, hugs, tears, smiles, calls, and just letting me be sad when I need to be and be happy when I can.

So it's been a little while, I still cry...I still don't know why, people tell me it's nature's way but I don't buy it. For some reason we were given the blessing without our knowing and for some reason we lost it. I'm still messed up. I don't know if I want (or if we want) to try again now or later. We fell inlove with our baby no matter how small. We began to plan...we had due dates, we had a nursery floor plan, we had a baby....we called it 'Cube' (for the 3rd Poff baby) Brent talked to it and I began to sing to it in the shower (better acoustics). It was our very special Christmas Present. It was ours.

I get so upset when people say you shouldn't tell or plan anything untill 12 weeks...well I'll tell you something as soon as I know that there is life (and by life I mean a positive pregnancy test or sore boobs) None of this pro choice crap it's a life as soon as the 2 cells start to split primitave as it may be! ...that the more people that are praying for you and the baby and sending good thoughts up that nothing but blessings will come down.

So thank you for all of the prayers that went up on behalf of 'Cube'. I know they were heard and that good will come out of this because God is Good all the time.